Rebel without a cause

I feel the need to NOT pack. I start moving in tomorrow night and I'm all of not packed. I've done a whole lot of not packing these last few days. I push things around and stare puzzled at them, while stroking my chin in thought. What kind of thought? The blank- i'd rather not pack thought.

Well argh dammit!

Today I shall make it me goal, me hardy, to locate and obtain fer ye an item of exceeding value and wealth. One that would make yer very eyes sweat and your tongue drip and droop, desperate for a taste of what prizes could be attain'd by such magnificence.

oh aye.

(crew: aye!)

And then, ye mongrel, I shall take it to the bowels of the earth and bury it where no scabby sea dwelling dog, nor any bastardly buccaneer could ever catch a sniff, much less a sight, o' me precious booty. And by booty I do not mean my fine white arse. I'm talking treasure of all treasures, with a price tag that exceeds any expectations.

There it will stay until the sky rains hellfire and the earth opens up and spits the bloody cargo from its very bosom. Until then, me hardy, only i... aye, I-

(crew: Aye, aye!)

-Aye, I will know of its peaceful resting place. And if any carnivorous dog with wealth on the mind comes a courtin', then let the wrath of satan come down upon him, for I will unleash the very dogs o'hell to eat his sorry carcass and spit his remains into the depths of the sea where not even davey jones himself could come for tea.

That is my word of bond- tighter than any rope can knot, and stronger than any hurricane that blows. And on that (spit to the side) ye can rest yer very life upon. Aye...

(crew: Aye!)

Best thing in life? sweet sweat. No... that's a lie.

misspelling is like a sport for me... subconciously.

Shame that my work is in words. Hope that doesn't hurt me some day.

Movin' on up... to the north side, to a deeeluxe apartment in the ninth floor sk-yyyyyy. I've finally got a piece of the gold pieeeeeeee.

My dog is the biproduct of a moose and a kangaroo. Interspecies love affairs are special. Not ride the bus special, or live-in-mom's-basement-with-comic-book-collections special. But that kind of special "you got it!" sticker on an A+ paper special.
Me? I'm that should-be-wearing-a-helmut-with-my-name-on-it special.

I'm a happy girl with a nasty cough

(sailor with a fog-horn voice) "Allllllllllllllllllls WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell!"

Phew- can I mention that again? Phhheeewwww.

So I was starting to sweat this internship thing HARD CORE. Like, really really badly. I hadn't heard from them, they didn't give me a secure date, etc, etc. I thought they were going to back out on me last minute. I was seriously stressing. Like panic, making myself ill, stressing. I mean, could you blame me??? It's the perfect opportunity for me to do what I've always meant to do. Foot in the door of where I want to go and all that jazz. I gave up the phd thing for it- and that was a lot of work!!

But no worries! The reason they hadn't called is because they couldn't decide to put me with the interns in the writing teams or with the big dogs in the marketing development company. Nice. Either way? I'm a happy lil monkey. and that's all the matters.

Relief is bliss.

Hack'n up my baby bumble bee...

I feel like there's a whole nest of them buggers in my lungs, buzzin' around, makin' life all difficult for me. bastards.

My big sis DOES love me??? Kleins... calvins... underwear... men, yum.
Tell her I can be reach in three ways, a) telepathy; b)stalking; c)by phone. But why use such silly, primative methods when I can just email her. I love her. make sure she knows that. Dawn, remember when she made me take the umbrellas out of my hair at misty's wedding??? I wore them for like 20 minutes and no one noticed and the first thing out of her mouth was "elizabeth n*** take those out of your hair right now." sorry about the *** i like to stay illusive when the opportunity presents itself.

Liz... move to the city with me, dawn, and the rest of your homeless comrads. we want you there. this is an order. and do not mistake my seriousness.

i think we should road trip to carrots again soon. that way we can hang out in a computer store for three hours while carrot decides which laptop she wants, the black or the black. big head and dirty-haired actor boy can entertain us.

Homeless are always welcome with the gypsies, liz.

All hail the returned prez. Even if her new name is anonymous. quite mysterious if you ask me. very "silly girl" of you. or at least "silly girl" as "silly girl" thinks of herself. The illusive life for me. Perhaps that's why we're twinlets (see what I did there? twin, triplet. twinlet? damn i'm freak'n clever. clever like family guy clever. that's the bestest kinda clever, ya know. the phd of clever. the notch higher than homestar clever).

Pansy days

.......I'm feeling odd, anxious, and oddly displaced by life.

The moving, job, new worries, money issues, writing issues, lack of publication of novels thus far, parents' new house search (boo), and random run-ins with certain awkward individuals from past lives (ahem, coh-cha), and life in general are all starting to pile into heaps on me and I'm starting to wonder if straight jacket white is my signiture color.

I just need a good karaoke session and maybe a jig.

and a hug.

One day I'm going to have to learn how to grow up and be a big girl.

I hope it isn't for a long, long time.

p.s. the Fire are terrible. Maybe that day when i make the move into big-girl-hood they can learn how to play professional soccer properly. or maybe that's too much to ask.

That sally is so hot.

I am tired. i'm tired stacked on top of tired. I'm tired squared.

So much for being ill (stupid asthma- i punchasize you) and going to a concert for sa-sa-sally. They were the bestest. www.sallymusic.com.

promo.

that's what sisters are good for (the good times, the bad times, i'll be on your siiiiiiiiiiiiiide forever more).

i can't wait till the gold coast meets me. we're gonna be the best of friends.

** pointless blog # 4 (in my books at least)

Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Drunk? yes. past tense.
stupid? occasionally. due to momentary laps of good judgement- usually caused by Whisky Eileen.
Son? no. that's completely off.


Ugh! Momma's day and I'm ZONKED. Yes, i said Zonked. Soooooo hungover. blah. sleepy. anxious. blachey.
80's band + free booze (nothin' like free beer, who can say no to that? gotta love boys) = Whisky Eileen havin' a good time.
Luckily no W.E. last night. She's in hibernation, I hope.

So i've taken myself off to momsy and daddum's house in the country. Spent about 3 hours staring at sunbathing turtles in the pond. Got motion queasy with those damn bioculars (i was sitting on the bank of loch N*****, trying to see every last pore on those wee turtle's faces). So far i've enjoyed a brat (hahaha, katie braught), watched my beloved Finding Neverland, now enjoying Elvis Presley day on AMC, and playing on the computer, looking up items i want to have in my new apartment. yeehaw.

whatta day.

it's tough work being me.

my left arm is sunburned. weird.

Oh, yeah! D- do you remember me telling you about that ape experience? Well, apparently my 'fallen into a monkey cage' club has gotten bigger!! Some kid (11, so three years older than I was) in San Fransisco fell eight feet into a Gorilla enclosure (my fall was only four feet over a fence into a wee water bed). The Guerilla coddled him four three hours. They had to shot her with sleeping drugs so they could get the kid free. At least my experience was only forty minutes and I wasn't coddled... just guarded by a momma monkey (Jill. she knew sign language. she died two years ago). Damn low fences in Lincoln Park Zoo. I wonder if i was mentioned in any papers. I love having famous experiences like that... even though I don't remember it too much.

I love goooooooooooooooooooooold

...coast.


Mike myers would be proud of my new digs. He would offer me a schmoke and a pancake.


i love scotch. scotch scotch scotch. down in my belly. scotch scotch scotch.

so my death "wish" if you will is a wee too early of a presumption on my part.
(knock on wood- proper wood you fool, get your mind out of the gutter! you're only allowed there if you're visiting the homeless- AND THAT INCLUDES YOU LIZ, wherever you've disappeared to... some triplet/twin you've turned out to be. What kind of prez ignores her in-meeting entertainment like this? ready dawn? home [make the rooftop] less [questioning hands])

sleep calls me. yes it's only 1041, but i still need to go home and prepare. and i'm a pansy. at least i'm not a nancy like some belt character. nancy.

shove off, matey ARRRRRGH. and that's what they say is that.

PHA-U... or or pha-ewe... or few... or even phew

So yeah... I love how "i'm dying" transmuted into "i'm pregnant and the daddy could be these choices". Choices, ha! There's only ONE choice and his name? Joshua Jackson. You can call him pacey for short.

In regards to my beloved joshua, I must also stipulate ewan "first choice" mcgregor (god forbid his marriage fall short), colin the scotsman (stop your booing and hissing), and hayden "hey darth, remember when i stalked you and that damn anthony daniels barred us from our love" christenson. Gary Oldman olds up the "old man" category. But we wouldn't have children. The world would be our children.

Anyway- i'd love to have our babies and be crack addicts, dawn!!! We could sell them on ebay for the big bucks! Or even better- do the words "showbiz moms" sound as enticing to you as they do to me????? we'll be bloody BRILLIANT.

I'm dying.

And the good doctor is gonna give me how many months i've got left @ 2:30.

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

growing old was just a fad obsession anyway.

I have been naughty.

Well. Not really. Yes. No. maybe? I'M NOT TELLING.

that's means a disgraced, non-committal no.

So yay. It's the day of mon. I'm 180 pages into the sequel the Twilight Kids- and I'm hella proud of it.

My problem with the day? It's may 2nd and it BLOODY SNOWED. what is up with that?

While I was in the UK it was 40 degrees there and 80 degrees Chi-ca-go-way. Now it's freak'n cold here. Am I not to enjoy the weather atoll?

Speaking of weather is when one has nothing of interest to say. So how do i respond to this realization? Lie.

So yesterday I decided that I am going to drive to arizona for erin staley's graduation on the 15th of may- stopping in st. louis to see fam, stopping in columbia to see steph, jack, and the fam, stopping in colorado to see Amanda Brackett and Tonya, then jutting up to Banff, Alberta to see Janey, Tom, and Chris, then over to Vancouver to stalk James, then down to LA to see Meggers, and finally in Arizona to see erin. I am going to video tap it and make a documentary. Hopefully a mockumentory of the insanity of the random people i meet, greet, and who in turn worship me.

sound like a plan, stan? yes. yes it does.